Do you ever have a full blown anxiety attack over something seemingly trivial, like being on hold for a long time with your insurance company, or an app not working properly? 

Usually it’s not so much about those little things, but the little things create a boiling point for the other frustrations brewing beneath the surface. 

When this happened to me today, the worst part about it was the thoughts that kept saying, “Something’s wrong with me…I shouldn’t be so upset about this stupid thing, I should be more easygoing and carefree, I should be able to handle all of this…” (meaning the things that were causing me anxiety) but imagine the thoughts coming at me at 120 miles an hour, spinning around my brain like a tornado and then making a lot of tears come out so it was also like a hurricane. 

Gratefully, the person I was on the phone with was so sweet and calming. They asked me if I was having a good day, and the word “no” came out of my mouth through a big sob. “Oh, I’m so sorry. I really hope and pray that things get better,” they said, gently. 

My heart rate started to slow down, along with the tears, and the tingly pressure in my forehead began to fade. I was able to speak more clearly. The urge to physically hurt myself subsided. And then I took deep breaths, counting slowly to 4 on the inhale, and exhaling for as long as I could, until my nervous system returned to something more like status quo.

I was thinking about how I can try to use these experiences to help other people through them. So here are some things I want you to know that I hope will help you when this happens to you.

• It’s okay if you can’t handle everything you have on your plate, even if it doesn’t seem like a lot compared to some other people. We all have different brains and thresholds and abilities, and sometimes neurodivergent (or “neurospicy” hehe) people aren’t able to handle as much or handle things the same way as others.  
• No one handles everything perfectly all of the time. Sometimes we can move through stressful situations with the utmost grace. Sometimes we’re a shitshow. Sometimes we’re somewhere in between. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. There are many factors that determine how you are able to cope on a given day.
• After an anxiety or panic attack, be really sweet to yourself. Nurture yourself as if a parental figure were taking care of you. Wrap yourself up lovingly in some cozy blankets. Make a cup of tea. Listen to soothing music. Don’t put pressure on yourself to get anything done, at least for a little while.
• Thoughts are just thoughts (can’t take credit for that one, learned it 2342 times in therapy). We don’t have to listen to them. When a thought like, “something’s wrong with you” comes up, you don’t have to believe it. 
• Take a break to calm down when you start to feel anxiety rise – it will often result in being more productive than powering through, then having an anxiety attack and being too drained to do anything for the rest of the day.

Sending you lots of love and compassion!