Staying sane around food during the holidays
Okay, so raise your hand if any of these thoughts are running through your head during the holiday season…
“Why am I still eating even though I’m so full?”
“I want ALL THE COOKIES.”
“I’m gonna gain so much weight from eating all this.”
Pretty overwhelming, eh?
First, just a reminder that your worth is NOT determined by what you eat, nor what you weigh or look like.
Second, you are not the only one having these thoughts. There are a lot of messages especially around this time of year about food and body, namely that we’re “bad” for partaking in festive food and need to “make up” for it starting January 1. Ugh.
Here are my responses to the aforementioned thoughts…
“Why am I still eating even though I’m so full?”
Step one: did you have enough to eat today, hun? Enough carbs, protein, and fat? If you didn’t eat much (or anything) before this, your body probably went into starvation mode and is now trying to get as many calories as it can (and NEEDS), even if you’re getting fullness signals. I know it’s a tough one because diet culture tells us that we should restrict or even fast before eating a big holiday meal. It’s also possible that you’re mentally restricting without even realizing it. That can look like: “I shouldn’t be eating so much,” “I shouldn’t be eating xx food” which your body interprets as deprivation, causing you to want to eat more of it in case you never let yourself have it again.
Step two: are you satisfied? If you’re not really into what you’re eating, you may keep eating until you feel not only physically satisfied, but emotionally satisfied too. Emotional satisfaction is an important component of eating! We’re biologically wired to receive pleasure from food – that’s what gets us to keep eating, and stay alive.
Also know that it’s okay to keep eating when you’re full. It’s part of “normal” eating, honestly. Your body will figure it out. Beating yourself up about it will make you feel worse, emotionally and possibly also physically (especially if anxiety messes with your body like it does with my Ashkenazi stomach…)
“I want ALL THE COOKIES.”
Again…are you hungry? Repeat step one in the previous question. It’s a completely normal response to want to eat a lot of food if you haven’t had enough (even when you sometimes think you’ve had enough).
Next, let’s figure out why you perceive wanting all the cookies as a problem. Shame? Guilt? Judgment? I get it. These are very real emotions to feel when eating “a lot” in our fatphobic society. Try identifying the emotions and sitting with them. Then, ask yourself:
What if it’s okay if I just want the cookies, end of story?
What if it’s okay to honor my desires?
What if it’s okay to eat whatever amount of cookies will really satisfy me – and what if that amount is more than what diet culture deems appropriate?
What if it’s okay to eat sweets every day if I want to?
Spoiler alert: it is!
It might take a while to unlearn some beliefs and practice radical acceptance for the food choices you make, even if they feel “wrong” or different than what you think is appropriate.
Pro tip: if you allow a variety of foods into your everyday eating, the “special foods” at the holidays will likely have less power over you. For example, if you eat dessert whenever you want (even if it’s every night!), it will likely be less overwhelming when there are a lot of sweets around during the holidays.
“I’m gonna gain so much weight from eating all this.”
Actually, that may not be the case. Registered Dietician Brierley Wright Horton writes, “According to a New England Journal of Medicine study, the average person’s holiday weight gain is 0.81 pounds. That’s not even a full pound over 6 weeks.”
But let’s go deeper – what if you did gain weight?
In my experience, the fear of being rejected and unloveable is what’s underneath the fear of gaining weight. Also in my experience, it’s way harder and more painful to attempt to control my weight than to let it be. I know that it’s easier for me to say as a straight-sized person who doesn’t experience weight stigma. But that patriarchy-capitalism-racism-induced fear, and the stigma, is real – and it destroys lives. That’s why addressing fatphobia is such a key ingredient in body liberation for everyone.
If you do gain weight from eating more during this time of year – or any time of year – so be it. You will still be completely loveable and worthy. Acceptance will help you maintain your sanity. Don’t let the system win.
What other thoughts do you struggle with during this time of year? How do you work through them?
