Why does my Jewish grandmother want me to eat so much?

“Eat! You’re too skinny!”

“Fill your plate!”

“Have some more” (when the plate is only half empty)

It’s no secret that Jewish mothers and grandmothers like to feed people, especially their families; the above are actually direct quotes from my paternal grandmother, of blessed memory (also pictured here).

My mom was a bit like this too. She loved me a lot, but I really knew it when she would give me the last bite of something delicious on her plate, or set aside a slice of orange cake for me. It was the highest form of affection, the truest expression of love.

But why such a fixation on food?  What about just sending a nice Hanukkah card? (ha) 

In times of persecution or poverty throughout Jewish history, food was scarce. It was the Yiddishe Mama’s job to make sure everyone was fed and alive; imagine how much she wanted to feed her kids when she was able to. Here we are in the 21st century, sometimes puzzled and amused at how much our matrons want us to eat when food is abundant and readily available, but the responsibility to feed the kinderlach (children) has been ingrained in our ancestors and passed down from generation to generation.

So we leave Bubbe’s house stuffed to the gills, waddle down the street and get hit by the diet culture semi-truck barreling down the road at 80 mph. 

“Don’t eat too much!”

“You’re too fat! Try this diet and get skinny.”

“Use a smaller plate so you can trick yourself into thinking you have more food on it than you do.”

Who do we believe?

Well, you can make whatever decisions you want, but chances are your mother or grandmother has your best interest in mind over diet culture…which truly doesn’t care about our well-being as long as we’re forking over the green/clean/sugar-free/low-carb dough. 

And though it may feel like “too much” sometimes, your grandma just wants to love on you. She wants to make sure that you’re eating enough, a concept that diet culture skews to make us think that what’s probably actually enough is too much. She wants to shower you with affection through tasty, nourishing food, even the foods that diet culture deems “bad” or even “sinful.” It’s okay to enjoy them, especially the cultural foods that evoke memories and bring us joy. AND it’s okay to derive joy from food!

Moral of the story: listen to your grandmother. 😉